Posts tagged: stupid

Remember how the Swimmers are stupid? Yeah, these guys aren’t just in open water, there is a major current in this region that could kill them at any moment.

Remember how the Swimmers are stupid? Yeah, these guys aren’t just in open water, there is a major current in this region that could kill them at any moment.

Actually, little girl, it isn’t neat that Pacifidlog is built in the middle of nowhere! That’s a horrible place for a town of artificial islands! To the west of your town are crazy currents that pull anything with them and AWAY from your town (more on that later). To the east is NOTHING until Ever Grande City. Remember when Kyogre was released? Or Groudon? Yeah, your town is first to go.

And Fortree is just as bad! There are Pokémon that can make fire. Hell, PEOPLE make fire. Imagine what happens when just one person drops a candle. Goodbye, Fortree. Hello, forest fire.

Two very dumb locations.

(Note: Pacifidlog is the only city in all six regions where you can’t run. It also lacks a Poké Mart. Coming here is almost completely useless.)

Why would one trade a Bellossom for a Corsola?? Bellossom takes an evolutionary stone and tons of training to get. Except to “Catch ‘em All”, one should never trade a Bellossom for a Corsola.
In Emerald, it’s a Horsea for a Bagon. Better, but still.

Why would one trade a Bellossom for a Corsola?? Bellossom takes an evolutionary stone and tons of training to get. Except to “Catch ‘em All”, one should never trade a Bellossom for a Corsola.

In Emerald, it’s a Horsea for a Bagon. Better, but still.

Wonderful post I found on r/Pokémon. OP noticed the sprite has glasses on.
Seriously. They couldn’t have picked a sprite with no glasses? Really? And the best part is, it’s implied the Blackglasses are his glasses. WUT

Wonderful post I found on r/Pokémon. OP noticed the sprite has glasses on.

Seriously. They couldn’t have picked a sprite with no glasses? Really? And the best part is, it’s implied the Blackglasses are his glasses. WUT

Oh, NOW you realize it? Not when I got the other seven badges and caught the creator of LAND/WATER who was threatening to DESTROY THE WORLD?
Dick.

Oh, NOW you realize it? Not when I got the other seven badges and caught the creator of LAND/WATER who was threatening to DESTROY THE WORLD?

Dick.

Here’s a big one.

And here the story takes a massive downturn, spiraling so out of control, it can’t be salvaged. If anyone says RSE had a good storyline, just point out to them this little gem.

In Ruby Version:

Maxie wants to awaken Groudon to “[expand] the world’s landmass”. He assumes he’ll be able to control this super ancient beast with the Blue Orb. Surprise, surprise! He can’t.

But! Let’s say Maxie COULD control Groudon. What was the plan again? To make the Sun shine hotter. Ignoring that the Sun can be controlled from Earth (as I’m willing to give SOME leeway), how does making the Earth hotter mean more land will form?

In order for more land to come about, the ocean levels would have to recede. But if you make the planet hotter, that’s not going to happen. Making the planet hotter would melt the ice caps. Let me make this clear:

UNDER MAXIE’S PLAN, SEA LEVELS WOULD RISE.

Then when you go outside, Archie explains that it’s so hot that ALL THE WATER ON EARTH IS GONNA EVAPORATE. In order for it to be so hot that it is an immediate threat, global temperatures should be skyrocketing. People and Pokémon are dying. Crops are dying. Everything is dying.

Now in Sapphire Version:

Archie wants to awaken Kyogre to make more ocean or something (forgive me if my facts aren’t completely in order as I don’t have Sapphire Version right now). He assumes he’ll be able to control Kyogre with the Red Orb, and whaddya know, Kyogre can’t be tamed.

Then Archie gets a call from an underling that it’s raining everywhere. Like, everywhere. So yay, Archie’s plan worked anyway. NOPE. It’s gonna flood the whole damn world. Let’s clear this up:

SOMEHOW, THERE IS ENOUGH WATER IN THE SKY TO MAKE IT RAIN ALL OVER HOENN AND FLOOD THE WORLD.

Yeah, okay, Game Freak.

In both versions:

After you go up, Archie/Maxie realize their mistake and go off with Maxie/Archie to fix it and tell you it’s too dangerous for you to go along. Then Steven Stone flies to you. Inexplicably, Mr Stone knows your location in the vastness of the ocean. This wouldn’t be so bad if he gave some throwaway line about how he found you, but NOPE, he’s just there.

In conclusion:

If you think Ruby and Sapphire had good stories, there something very wrong with you, honestly. These stories are just so filled with Fridge Logic and stupidity, I can’t even wrap my head around it. It is truly mind-blowing how idiotic these two men are. 

I don’t know, maybe DIVE. Dumbass.

I don’t know, maybe DIVE. Dumbass.

Water routes are the worst.
Hoenn sucks.
And Swimmers are stupid. Stop swimming out along in the ocean, you derp.

Water routes are the worst.

Hoenn sucks.

And Swimmers are stupid. Stop swimming out along in the ocean, you derp.


The Pokémon World: Where matter-energy transference is the norm, but we still need messenger birds.
While I’m at it, mail was the stupidest thing Generation II ever gave us and I hate that Generation III expanded it.

The Pokémon World: Where matter-energy transference is the norm, but we still need messenger birds.

While I’m at it, mail was the stupidest thing Generation II ever gave us and I hate that Generation III expanded it.

The Pokémon World: Where matter-energy transference is the norm, but elevators need operators.
The weird thing is, this isn’t the norm or an exception. Elevators in Pokémon are just weird.

The Pokémon World: Where matter-energy transference is the norm, but elevators need operators.

The weird thing is, this isn’t the norm or an exception. Elevators in Pokémon are just weird.

This is where you get the story Master Ball in RSE (excluding the lottery ones).

This area is inaccesible after Groudon/Kyogre is awakened. That is so dumb.

  • RBY: Silph Co.’s president gives you the first Master Ball.
  • GSC: Prof Elm gives one to you after winning all eight Johto badges.
  • DPPt: Defeat Cyrus
  • BW: Prof Juniper gives one to you after winning all eight Unova badges.

The Master Ball is one of the best items in the game and they very unceremoniously expect you to just find it. Imagine my anger when i found out I missed my chance at the Master Ball.

All images property of Nintendo/Game Freak/Creatures or their respective owners.